Buddies

I’m not sure how long I’ll leave this post up, or that it needs to be written anywhere at all.  It’s entirely personal, and I’ve kept pretty quiet about it, unsure how much of myself I want to put online for everyone to see.  It’s been written, re-written, and tucked away.  I just need to get it off my chest, so here it goes.

It’s been about a year.  A year since the fella and I have parted ways.

I’ve never known this kind heartbreak before, I didn’t realize that your heart actually feels broken.  Parting ways with a boyfriend is one thing, but parting ways with a friend of 15 years… that was another.  It wasn’t just him, it was his wonderful family, a family that had shown nothing but love and support throughout the years.  Not one holiday or birthday has gone by that I haven’t missed them.

My family also felt a little smaller without him there- and I needed to respect that they needed time to understand and adjust as well.  It wasn’t a bitter separation.  My life isn’t better without him.  It has been a really long, hard journey to see that it’s just different.

So it goes.

I know my heart needs some work, my soul could use some more healing and life could use a bit more travel.  This past year hasn’t been all heartache and no happiness.  This post isn’t about that, you may get a glimpse into this past year now and then in coming posts.  Life is life, love is love and it’s ok to let people have pieces of your heart if they are worth it.  The fella was worth it.